Friday, September 26, 2008
Life chioces.
So maybe you know know how much I struggle with decision. Like staying in school, I like and am doing fairly well so what is the problem? I was walking at the park this morning and I realized that I first don't trust God to take care of me and my family and second I feel selfish for doing it. I mean it is not cheap but worth it in the long run. That all sounds good but is it right? I mean it tell me is it? I have been known to make a decision just to make one because not making it drives me crazy. Right or wrong is sometimes not even a factor. Just need to stop the endless going over it in my head. I have to make it stop. So I vow to go with the flow follow what I have always wanted and be a nurse. Their that felt better. Do you think it was the right choice? I doubt already, so maybe the doubt is my struggle and not my choice because God is in control no matter what I do so surrendering to that control is what I need to do. Right? Right. Paige said something yesterday that made me think she said you just want to do something right (thanks for listening) and yes but I really am starting to believe that something is nursing I am just impatient and doubt that I can do it. So I am going to stay the course and follow my heart and not give up on myself or God. I just needed to vent.
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4 comments:
Something I have learned, though many times the hard way, what we percieve as a failure, is actually not the wrong decision for ourselves. So for example, you go through school and IF by chance you discover this is not the right thing for you, your human side is to perceive that as, "o, I've failed to listen to what God REALLY wants me to do". But I don't agree with that. Everything we do and dont do is about something God is trying to teach us. I went through some very simlar feelings when I was in school for Graphic Design. I still struggle with them from time to time even now. Trust Christ, no matter what decision you come too. Even when you are unsure, he's always constant and there guiding you.
Yes, I was listening, not really helping, but listening. I'm good at THAT!
Poor Heder...
Is hubby supportive of school? Can the gospel be carried out through your decision to go to school or not to go to school?
Darrin is so supportive I could not do it with out him. I think that I am learning to trust God more than I ever have had to before.
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