Conflicted?????????????????????

I have finished writing my paper. I can't believe it it seems like I have been working on it forever. I have been thinking lately that I don't know if I want to keep going with school. Do I have the patience? Do I really want to? Am I wishy washy? I really want to keep going but it has been a strain on my time and the time with the family. The boys have been great at helping and not having there dinner cooked every night. And I am happy having my own little slice of life. But the boys are going back to school next year and I think why not just get a job and not wait 3 to 4 years to finish school. Or work and go to school. I have a difficult time making decisions and I don't like to stop something once I have started. But I know that it would be okay either way. I just wonder if am able to keep up with it all. I still have to type my paper and edit it so the work goes on. I have learned a lot and have decided to take a math class during the summer. Which I actually see as growth for me. I am usually an all or nothing person so doing something I am not 100% sure about is good for me. So maybe it is about growing and not just about finishing. Guess I need to type my paper. Peace out.

I think I am turing into a morning person!!!

Help me I think I am turning into a morning person. I don't understand it I am official unable to go back to sleep if I wake up around 6:00a.m. This is not like me at all,it started about 2 years ago and it has only gotten worse. I miss sleeping in till 9:00 or 10:00 but alas even when on vacation I can't. Sad :( But it has made me more productive in the morning I even fixed breakfast for my husband this morning before he left. This almost never happens and it was only cinnamon rolls but hey I opened the can and put then in the oven and he loves cinnamon rolls. But I used to wish I would be a morning person because I am married the morningest morning person ever. He does more before 8:00a.m. then I do all day. But he has always been sympathetic to my affliction of sleeping in past 7:00a.m. He even wishes he could sleep in sometimes but that is a rare occurrence. So I guess I will be getting all the early bird specials and be asleep by 8:30 okay I am also official old.

In a Good Mood.

I am in a good mood. Did a lot of work on my paper last night at the library. I meet with my teacher tonight and should probably be working on it now but I don't want too. So had a great time at Kim's yesterday thank you for the wonderful pictures and I am glad I could unburden you of some of your cheese cakes. I will miss you greatly when you go but I am happy for you on your new adventure (I said that because it is the right thing to do but really not happy about it at all) good luck. Any who me and the boys just baked banana nut bread, oatmeal cookies, and bran muffins, I have been in the mood to bake for a couple of weeks but have not had the time. We had great fun and they are actually helpful at fetching and measuring things now so it is fun. I need to clean the house but baking was so much more fun then cleaning so maybe tomorrow. I have truly learned to be more patient since starting school, learning that my-self worth is not connected to how clean my house is or how perfect I keep everything. Also not fussing at everybody for not doing it and just letting go. If only I could put off laundry but people are running out of under ware and socks so that I have to kind of pay attention to. So here's to a great day loving ever minute of my crazy busy life. Later.

5 K We did it!!!

How long?

I am a horrible procrastinator, I need to be working on my final research paper but I don't want to.(imagine me whining and pulling my hair, while laying in the floor kicking my feet) That is how I feel.I don't understand why we have to do something totally different from what we have be doing. Very frustrating, I know I must learn and get through this and I am trying to remember why I want to do this. Why? I have lost a little focus and Darrin has been giving me pep talks,thanks honey. But I guess the biggest thing I am learning is to stick with it. I didn't know I would have to have quiet so many pep talks with myself but a least I have not quit. I will not DOR "I got no where else to go". Love that movie. So I will keep on keeping on. And try not to be so whiny.

Also, the 5K is Saturday wish us luck and no rain. I am still enjoying running I can sometimes run and talk at the same time now. Learning new things at my age is really cool. I mean I always thought of over 30 as near the end thank goodness that is not so. I am happier than I have ever been and glad to be learning new things. So I guess I better go work on my paper or maybe put it off until later.