Sacrifice.

Sacrifice. I have pondered that word lately. I think that I am or I guess really I feel guilty for asking my family to. I think that we should be traveling and doing things and right now we can't. So is that really a sacrifice? No it is not. But in my tiny little mind it is. Why is seeing the big picture so hard? Why can't I not focus on the big picture and just enjoy the moment. Thinking that I am giving up this or that. Really? I live in a beautiful house. I have a car which means I don't have to walk. I have running water and and washing machine and a dishwasher. Man I really have it rough. I truly want to not be so selfish. Put thinking about my self is selfish. Wow. Last night we visited the Springville church and Burt shared about how to reach the community there. And it was so good to hear because I really just want to feed the "poor" at Christmas and Thanksgiving but I sure don't want to sacrifice my time and be their friend. That would reflect way to much on my own selfishness. And yet I think that is what I really need. I don't want to walk into ever situation and wonder what can I get out of and how does it make me look to others. I want to just be there for someone. I have seen it at CPC and it is so the way it is supposed to be. And it is what people need. They need that relationship with someone and ultimately with Christ. So I may not get to do all that the world says is important and I want my life to be what Christ wants it to be not what I think He wants it to be.

Change.

It is raining. Love it. The kids are doing some math. Why is it so hard to keep them focused. I have been doing pretty good this summer making them practice. Not everyday but at least a couple times a week. Otherwise we have been having a really great summer. And they for the most part don't mind doing the little bit of work I have asked them to do.

Changing. Do you ever feel a change in yourself. Most of the time we don't notice but lately I have noticed. A good change I think. I see my sin more and others less. I think the love of Christ gives you tolerance that me as Heather does not have at all. I am so grateful for Christ and never understood as much as I do lately. And that is what makes you want to share it with others not for the you are a member of a church part but to know that love and know that He loves you endlessly.

Chang.I am very excited about working at the MDO starting in August. Fun times and I love the little guys they are so fun.

Change. I am not a mother of a baby anymore. My little guy turns 7 next month. I am somewhat middle aged. Yikes. But knowing that chapter of my life is over makes me more happy then sad. I mean I am still a mother I just don't have to change diapers. Except at work now so it all evens out.

Changing, when I will apply and start nursing school it will be fall 2010. It will help to get the other classes out of the way because the nursing classes are 8, 5, and 6 credit hours. Time and money.

I used to always fear change now I don't change is growth. And growth is good.