My Kingdom

Kingdom building was the topic of Wednesday night class. I really like building my own kingdom. But I am really not good at it. I mean I think I am for a little while then it all comes crashing down around my ears, and I realize I need Jesus so much. Then it all starts over again. The I realize that the crashing is okay because I need it to point me back to the cross. So that helps me not get as frustrated with myself. I am glad I find comfort in that and it makes me so grateful for grace.

School is a frustrating thing right now I love going and I am so grateful I am going, but it is a lot a effort and I am trying to not let it dictated my moods. Whether I am happy or sad and sometimes I am able to not let it sometimes it gets away from me. I really want to glorify God through it and learn so I am trying. Staying or quiting is a constant battle right now staying is wining but quiting is always there. Maybe by the time I apply to the nursing program and actually get in will help.

So we are going out of town this weekend so have a good weekend.

Life is good lately and busy of course. School is good and after my initial panic that I always get in the being that I can't do this it is just to hard, I am getting my groove and getting a feel for my teachers.

Went with Crissy today do a women's conference in Jasper. So I really went to hang out with Crissy but God had other plan's. I mean I did get to hang out but it was a really good seminar about mercy ministry's. I learned a lot and I am thinking over what I have learned. Good stuff.

So not much else going on just needed to say hey. Hey. Hollar. Later peeps.

Thoughts lately .....

Love is not easy. Being at a mission based church at first was hard. Knowing that you well love someone and then they well leave. I guess to love them enough to let them is the hard part. Still not my favorite. But I have come to realize that being part of the Kingdom does not mean my kingdom but God' s and that part is really wonderful. So the thought is to be encouraging and not to doubt God's plan.

School is fun. I think that I would have been horrible nerdy in school if I would have known how much fun it was. So I think I will just be a nerd now. Thank you Ginger for pointing my nerdiness out.

I think that I am glad I didn't make in concrete resolutions this year. I think they are like trying to keep the law you just can't. I like grace much more better.

Fear is something I never knew I struggled with until I learned to see my own sin more. Because fear is just unbelief. Not trusting God that He will take care of all things. My struggle with Zachary lately is really not him because he really is a great well rounded kid, it is my fear that I have messed up and that I have not prepared him enough to be independent of me. God will take care of him and I just need to pray and trust God. I will not be afraid. Okay I will try not to be afraid.

I think I would like 4 to 5 days on the beach this summer. That would be awesome. I love the beach it is my favorite. I know you envy my tan, don't hate. It is ironic that the palest person likes the beach so much but I do. I think it is because my Paw Paw took me ever year when I was young, good memories.

I think that 12 degrees is to cold and that I do not want to hear about global warming anymore. Have you noticed that they call it climate change now that it is not so warm. Media. Blah-blah-blah.

I think I will now go do laundry always need to do laundry.

Here we go.

Life goes so fast and I know when young people hear us old people say that they groan. But really life just flies by. Christmas has come and going again, and the New Year is upon us. I am trying to savor time a little more because I know it will be summer before long and another season will have past.

Time has been well spent this holiday break my honey has been off for two weeks and went back to work today. Other than a little traveling for the holidays we stayed home. It was really wonderful we got a lot of things done and we got a lot of lounging in too.

The kids go back to school tomorrow and they are vegging out today to make sure they are well rested. I think the other days of lounging just weren't enough. They have been pretending they were dogs this morning that are detectives. I know these funny times will not last forever but for now they are priceless.

So I hope we have a wonderful 2009.

Christmas Eve.

I love Christmas. We are going to the Christmas Eve service tonight for the first time since we have been here. We are usually out of town. It has been so nice to be home and just hang out with my boys. Darrin has been off and that is so nice. I just want to say thanks to my mom for buying the nerf guns really, really enjoy being shot at while unaware. And love the shot in the bum when I am trying to get away from being shot. And that Darrin has enjoyed the guns as much as the children. Again thanks mom.

Went to Walmart yesterday with Ginger really what were we thinking. But it was not so bad because we did not want to rush home so time was ours to kill. And the wait in line helped with that. People are so fun at Christmas and their joy shows on their faces when at the Walmart. Joy and peace rained down. I had many beautiful Christmas moments at the Walmart. Happy. Also for the first time in my life ate a banana while in the store I got a little light head and had to sit on the floor and eat the banana people looked at me a little funny but my blood sugar was a little low and I needed the banana. Don't judge me to harshly.

So my mother-in-law is coming up on Christmas day, I am cooking, Just saying. Then she will take the kids with her for a few days then they are going to spend a few days with my mom. Alone at last with my man. Fun times. Need some ideas of something fun to do in the big city while they are gone. Any suggestions?

Well Merry Christmas to all and to all a wondrous New Year.

Lately.....

I finished my class today and I really want to check to see if my grade is in but that would be crazy I just finished like and hour or so ago. But very glad to check that class off my list and move on to the next one. I have learned to trust my self and keep going and that I am pretty smart and I hope I can make sure my kids know how smart they are so they can pursue college a little younger then I did. But I do know that this is the best time for me to do this and I am ever so grateful and I think appreciate it so much now.

So do you every feel like you are not growing and then all of the sudden you feel like you are growing and you wonder if it shows. But since I am growing I don't really need to know if it shows or not because I feel it. I am happy and I hope more patient. Also less anger and maybe a little more understanding of others. I never saw myself as judgemental but I really was on the inside and the more I see my own sin the less I look at others because I understand the struggle we all have. I am just so grateful that Jesus did what He did it is so wonderful.

Things I am looking forward to now that I have 3 weeks off.

1. Knitting when ever I want to.

2.Not studying (although my teacher told me what our first 2 chapters are for my next class but I will not read them until the week before I go back.)

3.Baking all my favorite Christmas foods.

4. Relaxing.

5. Reading a book (sorry I don't have time for Twilight) just for fun.

6. Seeing my family.

7.Christmas Eve at church (what day is that on? that is what I thought when I saw the church sign because they always put the date. I get a little confused sometimes).

8. Being with my boys for 3 weeks and not having to get up and get ready. See # 4.

9. Being with my husband who will be off a lot because he said he would.

10. The kids going to my Mom's for a few days after Christmas. See # 9 Fun times.

Blogging about facebook?

So facebook is fun and I haven't blogged in a while because I like facebook. So it rained last night the creek at the park was really full. Missy I had a super, fabulous time last night. To fun. I am so glad you did it, good times. I really need to study and am ready to not have that hovering thought, at least not for 3 weeks until spring semester starts. Thanks for putting up with me talking about it I can fixate a little bit. I try not to but it is a little consuming. Anyway I can't wait until next week and baking and doing crafty Christmas things with the kids. To much fun. And Christmas with the family and Advent at church. I think I need an Advent class because I really think that I don't fully get it. I have never had Advent. Anyway maybe somebody has a book that explains it and how it started. I like purple so it is really pretty. I really like the Elf movie I need to watch again. I love all the Elf flair. I in fact love flair it captures a thought really well. Once again blogging about facebook sorry. I need some sunshine I don't like it when it is so dark and blah outside. I am glad that it is not quiet so cold. Feeling a little crazy I just read over what I wrote. I guess I will leave it and not try to make it pretty and eloquent not that I could. Tah Tah for now.