Sacrifice.

Sacrifice. I have pondered that word lately. I think that I am or I guess really I feel guilty for asking my family to. I think that we should be traveling and doing things and right now we can't. So is that really a sacrifice? No it is not. But in my tiny little mind it is. Why is seeing the big picture so hard? Why can't I not focus on the big picture and just enjoy the moment. Thinking that I am giving up this or that. Really? I live in a beautiful house. I have a car which means I don't have to walk. I have running water and and washing machine and a dishwasher. Man I really have it rough. I truly want to not be so selfish. Put thinking about my self is selfish. Wow. Last night we visited the Springville church and Burt shared about how to reach the community there. And it was so good to hear because I really just want to feed the "poor" at Christmas and Thanksgiving but I sure don't want to sacrifice my time and be their friend. That would reflect way to much on my own selfishness. And yet I think that is what I really need. I don't want to walk into ever situation and wonder what can I get out of and how does it make me look to others. I want to just be there for someone. I have seen it at CPC and it is so the way it is supposed to be. And it is what people need. They need that relationship with someone and ultimately with Christ. So I may not get to do all that the world says is important and I want my life to be what Christ wants it to be not what I think He wants it to be.

Change.

It is raining. Love it. The kids are doing some math. Why is it so hard to keep them focused. I have been doing pretty good this summer making them practice. Not everyday but at least a couple times a week. Otherwise we have been having a really great summer. And they for the most part don't mind doing the little bit of work I have asked them to do.

Changing. Do you ever feel a change in yourself. Most of the time we don't notice but lately I have noticed. A good change I think. I see my sin more and others less. I think the love of Christ gives you tolerance that me as Heather does not have at all. I am so grateful for Christ and never understood as much as I do lately. And that is what makes you want to share it with others not for the you are a member of a church part but to know that love and know that He loves you endlessly.

Chang.I am very excited about working at the MDO starting in August. Fun times and I love the little guys they are so fun.

Change. I am not a mother of a baby anymore. My little guy turns 7 next month. I am somewhat middle aged. Yikes. But knowing that chapter of my life is over makes me more happy then sad. I mean I am still a mother I just don't have to change diapers. Except at work now so it all evens out.

Changing, when I will apply and start nursing school it will be fall 2010. It will help to get the other classes out of the way because the nursing classes are 8, 5, and 6 credit hours. Time and money.

I used to always fear change now I don't change is growth. And growth is good.

Fast

How does a week go so fast? How does time just whiz by. My baby will be 7 in August. Wowness time is so amazing. And sometimes I want it to speed up but most of the time I want it to slow and let me catch my breath. Like with my school, I have been plugging away for almost 2 years now. It feels like forever and the it feels like I just started. I am so lucky to get to pursue this dream that I have had since I has 18. Now I am ever closer to achieving it. We have been in Moodyville almost 2 and 1/2 years and it seems like we have been here forever. I miss Wednesday nights at church. Time can speed up now I am ready for them to start back up again. But I am always glad for the break when they end for a while. So it is good to get to miss them. I pray for Ginger that time will fly and support raising will be over. I pray for time to stop so my friend will not leave me. I pray that I can remember to be thankful for the time that God gives us here on this earth so that we can be overjoyed when we get eternal time in heaven.

Humbledr

So I like to think that I look and act my age. My mom would say they I have "acted" 40 since I was 10. Not in a arrogant way but she has an old soul way. So now that I am every closer to the actual 40 I am okay with it. All that to say that in my lab class the other night one of the other students wanted to ask me a question, and brace yourself, she called me mam. Really I clutched my heart and said "oh that hurt" and she said "sorry mam" wow humbled just a little. So I guess what my Paw Paw said was true you look in the mirror and wonder who that old person looking at you is. I am really okay with it, a wise woman (Kim Hill) once said the only other alternative to growing old is being dead. I like alive better.

Not since April?

Wow, I haven't blogged since April. Facebook is just so much quicker. But I felt like blogging so here goes.

My oldest baby, Zachary, got baptized Sunday, joined the church and had his first communion. Awesomeness. So what goes through your mind when your precious baby gives his heart to Jesus. For me I was humbled, really and truly more than I can ever remember being humbled. God the creator of the universe choose me and then choose my son. Then the next thought was that He sent His Son to die so that my son could have eternal life. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. It makes me feel joy that other than at Zach's birth I haven't felt. Because now I know that Zach has eternal life and that His savior choose him. There are really no words that can truly describe this wonderful moment. I am humbled by it.

So that was a bit heavy and rightly so. Now on to summer plans. School for me of course. Microbiology, which I love saying that to people. They groan when I say it like it is some form of torture. I really like the class, so far this teacher is the best right off the bat. She is nice and friendly helpful you know like a teacher. Crazy I know.

The kids are home and I think he have found our groove of being together all the time. It is fun not having to get up and get to school. But it really gets me going and I like that. I have been a little lazy but I know that summer will be over before I know it.

Talked to my bestest friend Angie today. I miss her but am so glad we make the effort to keep in touch. I love facebook for that reason. But a nice long girl chat is nice too. We may get to go down to the beach for a weekend and hang out. I am so excited. I hope we get to.

Well toddles for now, hopefully it want be this long in between blogs next time.

Should be doing other things.

I really should be doing other things. Like laundry I would be further along if I had realized the dry was empty and did not need to be fluffed 3 times. Anyway Eric woke up this morning throwing up on my bedroom floor. Nice. I then start screaming at him to run to the bathroom because he just stands there telling me he needs to throw up while throwing up. Lovely. Usually he is good about going to the bathroom but he later told me he thought he was dreaming and he was at the beach? Really. I guess he had to much "fun" at spring break with his phrat brothers.Crazy. So got all that cleaned up and tried to sleep a little more. Wonderful. I do love being a mom. Actually it is nice having him home today. He feels fine now and is watching tv.

Last week was my spring break. I had a long list of things I needed/wanted to do. I decide to relax instead. I am glad I did but I am now making a mental list of things I am going to do and the end of the quarter. I really want to paint my kitchen. The builders used flat and you can't wash it. Smart. So I am going to do that for sure. I also want to go to the beach sometime this summer I love the beach. The husband (he loves when I call him that) doesn't really like the beach. Sad. But he will go with me and the kids have not been in a really long time. I need a cheap but clean place to stay. Does anybody know of some place? Anyway maybe will go maybe not. Hoping.

So the dry just stopped and it had laundry in it this time. Going.

School and a girl trip.

I am wondering if anyone will read this but I guess I feel at little like blogging. School is good. It is a lot and I think I am way ready for Spring Break. And really ready for this quarter to be over. Which it will be soon enough and the one more class this summer and I will be ready to apply to start nursing school. And then who knows. Time is always moving forward and no matter what happens I have learned to be happy with were I am at instead of always think I will only be happy when I get there.

Girl trip this past weekend. To much fun. The movie was good and even if I had not been lured with time away and hangin with two of my bestest friends. I would have watched the whole movie. It was funny and sad and different. Rob can act and I enjoyed it. It was a little sad though. I hugged both my boys when I got home and let them know how much I loved them. The mom in the movie was very cold. I don't ever want to be like that. In fact I don't think that I could.

So off to study and try to figure out my math. It is so so so hard right now. I really don't care how much liquid will fit in a box. I just think things like, what kind of box is it? Is it a cardboard box because that would just make a mess. Is it a pretty box? Can I decorate it if it is not pretty. These thought do not help me to actually learn how to convert the numbers and greatly interferes with my ability to pass the test I have next week. Math is yucky.